(April Fools) Review: Lennyage of Harmoney

Lennyage of Harmoney

This article was written for April Fools 2013 and is not meant to be taken seriously.

 Legal issues have sent many fangame developers into hiding after the demise of MLP:Online and Fighting is Magic, but a courageous few have gone onward with their projects, pouring their hearts and souls into their projects. In light of this, Equestria Gaming has decided to take a new approach to reviewing in which we will not criticize developers for the few mistakes that they make, but focus mainly on praising them for what they do wrong. Having good self-esteem is good after all, and we're going to be at the forefront of this bold new esteem-raising movement with our review of Lennyage of Harmoney, which you can find more about after the break.

 Opening Lennyage of Harmoney in Linux was a refreshingly retro experience. No clicking on gaudy icons, no configuring of unnecessary settings: just the basics. A simple java -jar "Lennyage of Harmoney.jar" was all it took, and the game started after only a couple seconds of loading. The game's main programmer must be a highly experienced individual to make a fully-featured RPG load in a couple seconds without being bound by the conventional restraints of loading screens. Unlike most of the other fangames we have the privilege of posting on Equestria Gaming, this one supports Mac OS X and Linux but nobody really cares because we all know Macs are for hipsters and Linux is for fat neckbeards like Richard Stallman and his hippie buddies (such as myself, ;~;).

The cutscenes are one of the game's main highlights and contain much of its emotional depth.

 Some RPGs throw the player right into the action, but not this one. The creators took the time to craft a detailed and touching story about everyman Twilight Sparkle being evicted from the library by the sexist top 1% (who obviously did this because of her gender), and in response she bands together with her friends, overthrows the rich witch and lives happily ever after in a utopian socialist environment. We could all learn something from this simple, endearing tale that makes no attempt to hide its political implications, you know?

 Even though some people would complain about the lengthy cutscenes being unskippable, I myself do not mind. I wouldn't even consider this a flaw, considering their overall quality. Since most Bronies are autistic and have problems reading facial expressions the developers decided to repeatedly zoom into the character's faces, forcing us to take notice of their emotional states and speculate as to what goes on within their vastly superior pony minds. This may feel somewhat uncomfortable at first, but after a short while the typical player gets used to it, and even begins to enjoy the wonderful sensation of being close to another's face. If only the game featured better integration with Google Nose, the experience would be complete.

Lennyage of Harmoney doesn't beat around the bush here; controls are clearly explained from the get-go.

 The game isn't all cutscenes and politics though. It has actual gameplay too, although the controls felt somewhat floaty. Given that Twilight has wings now and can float around wherever she darn well pleases, this makes perfect sense. There aren't any annoying fetch quests to get in the player's way either, and grinding is an issue either. If the game were especially long and dragged out the story would lose its emotional impact (really now, who goes for ice cream before confronting the greedy republican who kicked them out of their house?), but Lennyage of Harmoney has our heroine head to the treehouse right away to kick the antagonist's ass: no distractions!

 Heartless console gamers might cry out against the game's simple artistic style, but we at Equestria Gaming know that graphics do not matter in the slightest. Gameplay is the only thing developers should focus on, and sprites should be an afterthought. Contrary to popular opinion games like Limbo would be exactly the same if their artistic styles were changed, and because of this we are not going to comment on the game's art or let it affect our final score.

 Effort is what truly counts, and it's quite clear that much work was put into the production of Lennyage of Harmoney. We mustn't let the quality of a game affect our opinion on it

Sometimes minimalistic art styles are better.

 Good RPGs not only have gameplay and long cutscenes, but combat (yes, the two are distinct from one another), and this game is no exception. Upon entering one of the game's many combat encounters the game switches to a very retro art style reminiscent of NES games like Earthbound, and it feels nice and trippy. It was also properly balanced too because I kept winning. This shows that the 1% is no match for the combined might of the American people, even though they may pour their armies and tear gas on us. We shall not be stopped!

 All games except for the stupid ones have music. This is a universal rule, and breaking it probably earns the creator a C&D or something so the fabulous progressive folks behind Lennyage of Harmoney made sure to give the game its own, entirely original soundtrack. It did sound somewhat familiar though, but that's probably because this game is a homage to all the great RPGs before it, albiet one that outshines them all.

 Maybe it's not perfect (the distinct lack of parallax scrolling is the only fault I can really think of), but since Lennyage of Harmoney is fanmade we can't really criticize it without being unfair; it's not like the fandom can do better. Besides, nopony minds a 148.5MB download for a short game, right?

 Else, you can always look at the first letter of each paragraph. Have a happy monday, and make sure you take everything you read today seriously. If you don't...you might miss out on some great fun.